Comments on: The White Lady Just Doesn’t Get It: A Response to Maureen Dowd’s “Critique’ of Michelle Obama http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/ A Radically Indepdendent Take on Politics, Culture, Art and Society Mon, 23 Jun 2008 01:17:33 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: The Value of Michelle Obama « Temple3 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-2408 The Value of Michelle Obama « Temple3 Tue, 28 Aug 2007 06:17:01 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-2408 [...] Value of Michelle Obama The HNIC has it right.  Regardless of the outcome of the election, Michelle Obama may well be worth her weight in [...] [...] Value of Michelle Obama The HNIC has it right.  Regardless of the outcome of the election, Michelle Obama may well be worth her weight in [...]

]]> By: Miranda http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-2375 Miranda Sun, 26 Aug 2007 23:16:21 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-2375 Great commentary....well done. Great commentary….well done.

]]> By: WMF http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-1784 WMF Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:24:15 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-1784 Having once been a recipient of "little zingers" (my late husband was a minister), I can tell you, it's not cute and it's not humanizing -- it's embarrassing! It's also nerve wrecking because you don't know what he/she is going to say next! He once quipped across the pulpit that I "didn't iron his handkerchiefs" (totally ignoring the fact that he held no regular job, that our baby was born sick and needed a lot of attention and that I was up and down with this sick baby all night long while he peacefully slept and while I held full-time job--that I went back to work prematurely not waiting for the six-week checkup and, oh yes -- he did not have any handkerchiefs!). I could not talk him into stopping and it was frustrating! She is not his mother -- she is his wife -- and in this she should be supportive and positive. I don't care how much education she has, she is being ignorant! And, should her little shenanigans cost him the White House, it will be a shame. Not only that -- it will add a sense of redemption and validation to all of our black men who marry outside of the race because they stereotypically feel black women are emasculating and non-supportive. The old adage -- "If you can't say something nice about a person, don't say anything at all" -- truly applies in this case. And, it is not a leap to think -- if he can't control his wife's mouth -- how can he control a whole country? If he can't get his wife to respect him, how can we? And, while she may not wish to respect him, we so much want to! Having once been a recipient of “little zingers” (my late husband was a minister), I can tell you, it’s not cute and it’s not humanizing — it’s embarrassing! It’s also nerve wrecking because you don’t know what he/she is going to say next! He once quipped across the pulpit that I “didn’t iron his handkerchiefs” (totally ignoring the fact that he held no regular job, that our baby was born sick and needed a lot of attention and that I was up and down with this sick baby all night long while he peacefully slept and while I held full-time job–that I went back to work prematurely not waiting for the six-week checkup and, oh yes — he did not have any handkerchiefs!). I could not talk him into stopping and it was frustrating! She is not his mother — she is his wife — and in this she should be supportive and positive. I don’t care how much education she has, she is being ignorant! And, should her little shenanigans cost him the White House, it will be a shame. Not only that — it will add a sense of redemption and validation to all of our black men who marry outside of the race because they stereotypically feel black women are emasculating and non-supportive. The old adage — “If you can’t say something nice about a person, don’t say anything at all” — truly applies in this case. And, it is not a leap to think — if he can’t control his wife’s mouth — how can he control a whole country? If he can’t get his wife to respect him, how can we? And, while she may not wish to respect him, we so much want to!

]]> By: Sunshinysmile http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-1419 Sunshinysmile Thu, 05 Jul 2007 10:47:10 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-1419 While I can't agree with Ms. Dowd, I have to say that I cringed when I heard Mrs. Obama say something like, "I have a big mouth. That's why he can be president...because he can handle me." Do we (Black women) always have to be the ones with the big mouth? Really? Is Jackie O any less of a First Lady because of her reserved, softspoken image? Makes me think of some little "bad butt" girls I work with...just because you can talk, doesn't mean you should...silence can be golden. While I can’t agree with Ms. Dowd, I have to say that I cringed when I heard Mrs. Obama say something like, “I have a big mouth. That’s why he can be president…because he can handle me.” Do we (Black women) always have to be the ones with the big mouth? Really? Is Jackie O any less of a First Lady because of her reserved, softspoken image? Makes me think of some little “bad butt” girls I work with…just because you can talk, doesn’t mean you should…silence can be golden.

]]> By: Miranda http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-1016 Miranda Mon, 11 Jun 2007 00:09:04 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-1016 Great commentary....simply great. Great commentary….simply great.

]]> By: haze http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-846 haze Wed, 30 May 2007 20:39:54 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-846 Here here!! Perhaps the Obamas are trying to portray Barack as a real person as opposed to some mythical phenomenon. I'm a black Canadian and my thought is that it couldn't hurt for the rest of the world to see the next American president (whoever he or she is) as a likable person, with real foibles, a sense of humor, and no delusions of grandeur - just like 'regular folk.' Here here!!

Perhaps the Obamas are trying to portray Barack as a real person as opposed to some mythical phenomenon. I’m a black Canadian and my thought is that it couldn’t hurt for the rest of the world to see the next American president (whoever he or she is) as a likable person, with real foibles, a sense of humor, and no delusions of grandeur – just like ‘regular folk.’

]]> By: nyc/caribbean ragazza http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-744 nyc/caribbean ragazza Wed, 23 May 2007 14:52:22 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-744 I worked in national politics for 7 years. I think one of the most difficult "positions" on a campaign is that of the spouse. It's not the kind of role anyone or anything can prepare you for. Everyone is going to have their opinions and second guess her but I get the sense she has a strong sense of self and will be just fine. I worked in national politics for 7 years. I think one of the most difficult “positions” on a campaign is that of the spouse.

It’s not the kind of role anyone or anything can prepare you for. Everyone is going to have their opinions and second guess her but I get the sense she has a strong sense of self and will be just fine.

]]> By: Meera Bowman-Johnson http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-733 Meera Bowman-Johnson Tue, 22 May 2007 19:39:58 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-733 Really great post. I take Mrs. O's frank demeanor as a way of reminding people that her husband is not above or beneath human, the way many would want to believe. It also might be a way of trying to remind folks (and you know who I mean) not to make him into this "superhero", so that when/if he makes a mistake, people won't get the lynch mob after him. "He's just a man" = he is HUMAN. Quips about the butter and making the bed are just ways of reminding the suburban housewives that he's really not all that different than the guy they have at home (except for the fact he's just plain brilliant.) No, Dowd doesn't get it, but should we really expect her to? Really great post.

I take Mrs. O’s frank demeanor as a way of reminding people that her husband is not above or beneath human, the way many would want to believe. It also might be a way of trying to remind folks (and you know who I mean) not to make him into this “superhero”, so that when/if he makes a mistake, people won’t get the lynch mob after him.

“He’s just a man” = he is HUMAN.

Quips about the butter and making the bed are just ways of reminding the suburban housewives that he’s really not all that different than the guy they have at home (except for the fact he’s just plain brilliant.)

No, Dowd doesn’t get it, but should we really expect her to?

]]> By: DanTresOmi http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-556 DanTresOmi Fri, 11 May 2007 00:24:11 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-556 Ms. Dowd is a regular here in Virginia. I read this one in our local paper and laughed. I took it as "she just DOESN'T get it..." My wife is just like Michelle, she stays on me. I appreciate her for that. I am sure Obama appreciates his wife for just him and not the image of this uber leader who is going to lead us to the promised land. Ms. Dowd is a regular here in Virginia. I read this one in our local paper and laughed. I took it as “she just DOESN’T get it…”

My wife is just like Michelle, she stays on me. I appreciate her for that. I am sure Obama appreciates his wife for just him and not the image of this uber leader who is going to lead us to the promised land.

]]> By: solo12 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-526 solo12 Wed, 09 May 2007 18:37:54 +0000 http://thehnic.wordpress.com/2007/04/30/the-white-lady-just-doesn%e2%80%99t-get-it-a-response-to-maureen-dowds-critique-of-michelle-obama/#comment-526 I agree wholeheartedly. However, I am a little torn because, I understand what Dowd was saying and in many ways it is the cross that wives and husbands of all politicians must go through when describing their husband to people who think they walk on water just because they give a speech or two. It is something that Mrs. Obama will get better at as she has more experience. I often think back to Martin Kings wife and Malcolm X's wife. You knew that they probably were always icons at home. However, these women never said anything that lead others to ridcule their husbands. I think she will definately get better at her descriptions of his home life in time. However, this does also speak to the difference between the way black women treat their spouses and other women. Black relationships are, at their best true partnerships and humor is used to disffuse situtations from racism to who is going to do the dishes. It is the way we deal with each other. Finaly, I also think Mrs. Obama is trying to save her husbands life. Once white people start to see a black man as strong his days are numbered in this nation. She knows that history. She is telling the white world that this is just a man, not an icon or symbol for you to kill. THis is my husband, the father of my children and the man who can't make the bed. She is humanizing him in hopes that this will keep him alive. You must realize that he now has secret service protection. I am sure there are white people out there who have threatened his life already. Michele Obama, I believe, is taking this tactic in hopes that if they see him as a flawed human they will not kill him. I agree wholeheartedly. However, I am a little torn because, I understand what Dowd was saying and in many ways it is the cross that wives and husbands of all politicians must go through when describing their husband to people who think they walk on water just because they give a speech or two. It is something that Mrs. Obama will get better at as she has more experience. I often think back to Martin Kings wife and Malcolm X’s wife. You knew that they probably were always icons at home. However, these women never said anything that lead others to ridcule their husbands. I think she will definately get better at her descriptions of his home life in time.
However, this does also speak to the difference between the way black women treat their spouses and other women. Black relationships are, at their best true partnerships and humor is used to disffuse situtations from racism to who is going to do the dishes. It is the way we deal with each other.
Finaly, I also think Mrs. Obama is trying to save her husbands life. Once white people start to see a black man as strong his days are numbered in this nation. She knows that history. She is telling the white world that this is just a man, not an icon or symbol for you to kill. THis is my husband, the father of my children and the man who can’t make the bed. She is humanizing him in hopes that this will keep him alive. You must realize that he now has secret service protection. I am sure there are white people out there who have threatened his life already. Michele Obama, I believe, is taking this tactic in hopes that if they see him as a flawed human they will not kill him.

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